I’m not normal me. I can’t bear to be in the same room as Jeremy Kyle. I want to smash his face in. I really do. I know it will never happen. But that doesn’t stop me hating him. Switch off the telly, turn it over, and watch something else. It’s as simple as that. He doesn’t do any harm. It’s only a laugh.
I’m not laughing. What has made Jeremy Kyle a very rich man has been peddling other people’s misery. Imagine hosting a musical evening for people that are tone deaf asking them to sing and then everybody laughing at them and poking them with sticks to sing that skewed note again, but higher this time. Imagine an afternoon, or evening slot, selling gratuitous rape, but with the disclaimer no livestock got hurt in the process and these people really are incredibly stupid –just look at them, listen to them. Gratuitous means they don’t get paid, but they do get some freebies. Lie detector tests. Paternity tests. Some of them even get to ride in a limousine. And it’s not really rape because they consent.
One research assistant on the Jeremy Kyle show described the selection process as quite simple. What medication are you on? That was the key question on who made the cut for the show. Sick people are made feel better about themselves be being on television, becoming a noon-day celebrity. How sick is the people that feed on this need? Is it, for example, up there with happy slapping, or a more serious offence such as child porn?
Rape on television is never sanctioned unless it is done for a good reason. The best reason of all is, of course, money. I’m rich and you’re poor. It feeds into a larger narrative that these sick degenerates on the programme are an underclass that needs sorted out by people like Jeremy Kyle. His catchphrase, ‘get a job’ feeds into the zeitgeist that Shameless is not a television series but a way of life. The best way to deal with such fucking fecklessness is to make sure they don’t have any money as they’d squander it on fags and drink. And anyway, poor people are always having more sex. They’re always shagging each other. Producing feckless kids everyone else pays for. Jeremy Kyle laughs all the way to the bank.
Imagine for a moment what would happen if the majority of people behaved this way. You wouldn’t be able to visit a GP without laughing at him or her and accusing him of trying to kill you like Harold Shipman. You’d spit on every priest, minister, or nun and shout ‘paedophile’ at them. Bankers would routinely be punched or kicked and called thieving bastards. Politician would be told exactly what we think of them. You wouldn’t really need to make anything up there. Notice how the extremely wealthy escape such opprobrium. They are so far above us they are invisible and beyond mockery.
I don’t really hate Jeremy Kyle. I hate the idea of Jeremy Kyle, the spite and bile his show relies on. Make no mistake its propaganda. Goebbels filmed the stereotypical Jew in his ghetto. Jeremy Kyle films the stereotypical working class. The question remains, what needs to be done?