Celtic 4—0 Rangers

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Craig Gordon was questioned by Department of Employment officials yesterday over allegations that he had been working. He offered as evidence a second-half save from Bruno Alves (£30 000 something quid a week man that can’t get a start in this Rangers team) and other saves from the £8 million rated Morelos. The Department of Employment officials just started laughing when they heard Morelos had been involved and ripped up the paperwork.

There had been burst balloons all over the pitch. Halliday, for one, had a shouting match with his manager and the bench, when taken off before half time. Celtic’s stats were impressive. Two goals up, Rogic and McGregor and they were so far ahead that an ice cream van parked in the Celtic box to sell blue-and-white pokie hats with raspberry topping to Ranger’s diehards leaving the stadium.

Dembele’s penalty, a cheeky little dink, to make it 3-0 and the sending off of McCrorie made it a fun day out of the green-and-white brigade. Madden should have taken a leaf out of one of our old drunken Welfare league referees that had warned me he was going to leave me on the pitch as an abject lesson to the other players. Candeias was hooked and like Halliday took turns shouting at his manager and staff.

Celtic send on Paddy Roberts for a wee run about in the Hampden sun. He was brought down for the second penalty and Dembele passed the ball to his mate Nitcham and told him to back-heel it in with his eyes shut. Nitcham, being a spoil sport, whipped it into the bottom corner. Sinclair came on for a run about and Leigh Griffiths did a bit of ball juggling when taking a corner. The party hats were on. You’d think we’d won the final. Motherwell will give us a game.

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