#Covid-19- a five-point guide for stupid people like me.

  1. A guy told me that a guy he knew said the coronavirus has been engineered.

It has, of course, left-wing, radical badgers in their labs far below the earth when they were mixing a batch of bovine TB in the 1970s also created the coronavirus and passed the secret onto their friends the right-wing bats. Because bats knew they’d be ate by some human in the Huanan seafood market in December 2019. Revenge of the bats –

 COVID-19 is the name of the disease caused by the new coronavirus rather than the actual virus itself – the virus has been named SARs-CoV-2. Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARs). The number 19 relates to the date of discovery.

Coronavirus are a large family of viruses. They don’t necessarily live with badgers or bats. John Lennon sung about them. That was why he was gunned down, after he found out the real truth from JFK. If you’re going to make up a conspiracy theory, contact me, my rates are very reasonable.

Coronavirus, is a generic name. They get their title from the crown-like spikes that can be seen on their surface with electron microscopy. They were first identified in the middle of the 1960s and they can cause very mild symptoms like a common cold, or in some cases, they can cause severe disease. Morbidity can become mortality.

2 )No spitting and no sex.

You can have sex as long as you keep two meters apart. The no spitting rule is much harder to swallow. President Trump’s call for a much bigger wall can be seen as protectionism (see endorsement of this method from badgers’ and bats’ underground alliance).

Covid-19 is very small. Thousands of times smaller than the thickness of a human hair. 50 000 droplets in a single spit. For baldy people like President Trump and myself, we’d use a different—non-hair—analogy because we’ve got our public image to think about.  Because COVID-19 is new, we didn’t initially know the incubation period. That’s why it’s called novel. Nobody has immunity, not even badgers.

What we do know— A for averages. Around fifty percent of those initially tested for the Covid-19 virus might test negative, but still go on to develop it after the incubation period. That’s like taking home twelve eggs and when you put them in the cupboard you find six are cracked.

14 days in isolation plays on the safe side and allows whether you’ve got the virus or not to be played out in the safety of your home. It’s also very cost effective. You and a box set of (…fill your own choice here and remember God is watching you to see if its porn).  

What the government is doing is trying to slow the rate of transmission, which follows the doubling rule favoured by your favourite debt collector. One person can theoretically infect 30 000 others. That’s a lot of future debt you’ll be racking up.

3) Covid-19 needs you to spread it, but can lie dormant like an old pair of knickers under your bed for between two days in surfaces such as paper to three to four days on plastics and metals, think door handles here. 28 days for some surfaces?

4) Children do not have immunity from Covid-19, but symptoms can be non-existent or very mild. Here’s the rub, as well as driving you absolutely crazy being stuck indoors, they may be carriers, and kill granny. The science in this is unclear as there has not been enough data generated. Here’s hoping, one of the moron’s morons many and varied progeny does the trick. And the Covid-19 might mutate later in a way that does harm children. It’s too early at this stage to be sure.  You cannot rely on screening symptomatic cases to detect all those who may transmit.

Adults can also be symptomless (asymptomatic) and still spread the Covid-19 virus. It’s also not yet clear how long people remain infectious after recovery. You too might be a killer. Imagine you were in your car and you drove over somebody, but you didn’t really bother because it didn’t hurt you.

5) Singapore is full of supergrasses.   They used traditional methods of locking folk up and flinging away the key much loved by Tory scum. When this didn’t work with those that developed symptoms of Covid-19 they used a multi-agency approach. They roped in police to work with health workers to track down people that had been in contact with those that had the virus, using for example, CCTV footage. And they used technicians and public health officials to model pathways of the disease. They also gave every resident four face-masks and gloves. The government began to behave like a gang of social workers. Here is where the Singaporean government’s genius comes in. This allowed them to re-emphasise and educate the public that they should only wear a mask when they are NOT feeling well. Not when they do. They gained the moral high ground with their actions. They acted as if they could be trusted.  ~A*.