Hard Sun BBC 1, BBCiPlayer, director Brian Kirk, written by Neil Cross.

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Ironically, the coldest night of the year and BBC give us Hard Sun. Oh, yeh, and an expose is on News at Ten that President Trump is a moron. Wow, real surprise.  What else can go wrong? Well, in no particular order. You’re a woman that looks like a man and your son tries to kill you in the opening scenes. We are firmly in Lionel Shriver We Need to Talk About Kevin territory, but with the added edge that Elaine Renko (Agyness Deyn) is akin to a Detective Inspector in The Sweeney  flying squad.  But she has no plans to go to the moon soon, although her teenage son is locked up in state hospital. But the clock is ticking.

You see when some kid with Asperger’s manages to hack into our National Data Base and finds out that the world is going to be hit be an asteroid (Hard Sun) in five years it’s M15’s job to stop the world from knowing, or else there would be mass panic and all the tins of macaroni sold out in ASDA. M15 dicks, of course, fling Asperger kid off the high flat. We know from secret databases how they disguise this ‘accident’, by pulling his cock out of his trousers and downloading kiddie porn. I guess it’s a job somebody’s got to do. Why not the American President – he’s childlike – or so I heard on the news so it must be true. Obviously, he wasn’t involved with Russian prostitutes and didn’t pee on a bed and say a big boy did it and ran away.

But not only has DI Renko got to worry about her son, she’s also got to worry about her partner. DCI Charlie Hicks (Jim Sturgess) is under surveillance. In a word, bent. But not bent in the same way as Renko. Although it is a two-hander, Renko and Hicks against the world.  None of this matters when everybody is going to die and M15 are blundering around killing the wrong people and putting it down as collateral damage. Will M15 catch Hicks and Renko? Will they keep all their balls in the air? Or will the world explode and President Trump be found to be the only single cell organism to survive mass extinction? Perhaps in the future all wild life will have orange weave.